Archive for the ‘Family Experience’ Category
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Everyone needs to write their money story. The economy and the factors around using money are so volatile that we all need to be deeply grounded in our beliefs about money. So here is my latest reflection:
Since my first sincere reflection about money in my life, when I had a financial identity crisis in 1995, I have believed that not having money would make it easier to stay connected to spirit. In my Running to Heal story published in Fearless Voices: True Stories by Courageous Women, I offer the many threads of my life leading up to and beyond this money identity crisis but didn’t speak to it. In part because I had 2,000 words and had already covered so much; and in part because I hadn’t quite processed my new money story emerging.
Putting a spiritual lens on the loss of my lucrative career, a loss I personally needed to experience in order to attentively raise my children, seemed the only sanity saving option. And honestly, this choice was made for me. I had had a series of oversights at work so when I chose to leave my well-paying job, my boss was slightly more relieved than upset. || Read more
A few days ago at a Girl’s Night Out event, I was reminded that the word yoga means unity. It was described a unity of body, mind and spirit. Striving for this unity within ourselves is a supremely worthy ambition, and in the process of achieving such unity—for a moment or beautifully strung series of moments—we are led to an even deeper understanding of unity: Unity with All That Is.
I firmly believe that arriving at this understanding, and courageously exploring the path that unites one’s individual body/mind/spirit with All That Is, is the ultimate purpose of human existence. || Read more
Laying in a warm bed on a wintery morning when the kids have to get off to school and the driveway is slick with snow can be a real conflict. The warmth under blankets is so heavenly and the cold harsh chore of snow removal … isn’t.
Before my husband and I even said good morning he was up and getting dressed to run the snow blower. I thought about how responsible he is and chewed on the concept of response-ability in terms of responding to what shows up in life day to day.
Here’s what I came up with: || Read more
What words, in our over- and hyper-communicated world, are actually worth writing?
There are cycles of creativity that motivate a writer to write just to get the inspirations out of our hearts and minds and into the world.
And there is an Internal Saboteur that thwarts our creativity with the question: What IS the Point?!
In an effort to reconcile this felt conflict, I share a recent inspiration. Yesterday, at the 16th monthly Women & Spirit in Business gathering in Hadley, Massachusetts, I experienced such a deep resonance with the dozen of us there that my Inner Saboteur, who has thwarted my queue of posts to be published, was herself overruled. || Read more
It is around 3am on Christmas day. I woke a little while ago filled with regret that I didn’t take the opportunity to say grace at dinner yesterday when Uncle Manny noticed we hadn’t said grace. My husband Paul has long been the keeper of this tradition and since most of the 30-ish of us had already started eating decided to say grace to himself.
I had the urge to say grace but repressed the urge.
Realizing that it is never too late to say grace and to give thanks, I would like to share what has come to my heart. What I would have liked to have said yesterday with my husband’s family. || Read more
The coaching process is very personal and, for the person curious about what it can offer, I share this reflection that I had recently about why coaching is important. If this helps satisfy your curiosity, I welcome a call to discuss potential next steps of working with you.
The offering:
Together we look deeply into life experiences—into the triggers that stir up emotions and to the process for maintaining peace and calm amidst the storms of chaos. We begin by reflecting on how and why it is good to look deeply.
• Where do I receive support and resonance with my efforts to see below the surface?
• Who helps me to explore the roots, the causes and conditions of dis-ease?
• In which relationships or areas of my life do I find obstacles to trudge through, over and over with each new situation?
The process of looking deeply fills us with a mixture of hope and dread. Hope for resolution, for progress, for growth, for mutual understanding and respect, for gentleness … for love and inner peace—which is strong and able to weather any storm. Sustained hope is the core of a strong community and a global family. The dread we feel is based on past experiences, painful memories of our hope and good intentions being shattered. Dread that our difficult circumstances may never improve. Sadly, it can seem as if each of these past experiences leaves a layer of fine yet heavy sediment inside us that doesn’t ever fully clear away with even the freshest warm breeze. || Read more
I have been looking forward to this day for 36 days (I’ll blame the time extension on the New England storm and power outage!) because I have wanted to post this particular picture:
There is irony in waiting to post a picture about “arriving” given the message reminding us to arrive with the breath each moment right within the body!
It took me 24 hours to feel like I had truly arrived at last month’s retreat with Thich Naht Hanh. When I did fully settle in and release all the mental energy I’d had, I felt “home” in both my body and the retreat space. The collective energy of 1,000 people attending to their breath, their thoughts and feelings, and the environment was pure joy that I hope everyone can experience. This collective conscious effort is what the world needs now.
This last mindfulness post is bittersweet. Sweet because I’m typically a once a week or so blogger and I look forward to getting back on that schedule; bitter because the added effort I have put into mindfulness over the past month has had a specific purpose and I, like all of us, need sufficient motivation in order to attend to the subtle essences of life–like the breath!
My practice has certainly deepened and I have formally announced my intent to be ordained in the Order of Interbeing. It simply feels like the next step in a succession of over 12 years of steps toward greater mindfulness. But what has also unfolded is a richer awareness of why I am a life and business coach; appreciation for what I have to offer that is unique, profound and important. For that, for the continued mindfulness practice, and for being part of the large community of us reflecting on what it means to be alive, I am grateful.
Here are the words to a song I learned many years ago. Contact me and I will be happy to sing it to you!
I have arrived, I am home
In the here and in the now (repeat)
I am solid, I am free (repeat)
In the ultimate I dwell (repeat)
Getting all the way to day 26 of this post-retreat 30-day mindfulness practice has been much more challenging than I had expected. Not only did I not simply write 30 different inspiring quotes from Thich Naht Hanh all at once and schedule them to post each day through Hoot Suite (I vow to get this going soon!), we had an unprecedented snowstorm and power outage to contend with—helping me let go of my “definition” of 30 days (not exactly consecutive), I have struggled with an increased sensitivity to others’ unmindful speech, which I swear has piqued to give me lots of fodder for my practice, and I have found it challenging to authentically come up with each day’s post. It has taken me anywhere from 20 minutes to the more common two hours each day to write and post on my website, on Facebook, in various LinkedIn groups, and on my newest social media Twitter.
Another aspect of the practice that has challenged me is the foundation of the practice, breathing. No, I haven’t struggled with asthma or pneumonia, I’ve found myself wanting this practice, and my daily posts, to be about something more exciting than the breath. Mindfulness always comes back to the breath. There, said it, done. Now what?
Truth is, remembering the breath—and what an amazing gift that is—is quite difficult all day long, let alone randomly throughout the day. Then, factor in various stresses, not the least of which for me has been eating sweets and suffering the resulting hot flashes and extremely impaired circulation at night, and you have a recipe for mind-less-ness.
All decisions we make can seem mindful. It seemed perfectly appropriate that I should overdo the milkshakes with delicious super premium ice cream and not-so-frozen strawberries given that our refrigerator freezer just died. But if I were mindful of my very obvious reactions (I learned that milk solids a la evaporated or condensed milk from other sweets is the crème de la crème offender) I would have simply accepted the financial hit and passed on the other leftovers.
And this understanding leads me to perhaps my most important post in this series of 30: the five mindfulness trainings. About 10 years ago I attended a retreat with Thich Naht Hanh (or Thay, beloved teacher) at UMass. It was my first experience of silence over an extended period of time each day and I was completely swept away by the calmness settling into my body and mind, the heightened awareness of my surroundings, and the process of practice in Thay’s Order of Interbeing tradition. At this retreat I vowed to practice five mindfulness trainings, which seemed rather daunting at the time, and I received the dharma name: Grateful Smile of the Heart.
The Five Mindfulness Trainings I received have been revised. There are two versions: the original and the current. Briefly, they are summarized as follows:
First: Reverence for Life – not engaging in any act of killing in one’s thinking or in one’s way of life
Second: True Happiness – practicing generosity and social justice with specific emphasis on vocation
Third: True Love – cultivating sexual responsibility
Fourth: Loving Speech – listening deeply to inspire confidence, joy and hope
Fifth: Nourishment and Healing – mindful eating, drinking and consuming to transform fear, anger and confusion
Each month I read these with my Wednesday morning meditation group, like I did this morning. Reading them together in a group and then talking about what “jumped out” or inspired us, is what has helped them become rooted in my daily life. I can always see room for improvement yet I can also see progress, which keeps me going and motivated. I am now preparing to take the 14 mindfulness trainings because I am again ready to deepen my practice.
Please feel free to post here any comments you have about your practice. It takes a village!
Sincerely yours,
Grateful Smile of the Heart
True love holds no grudges. When i hold a grudge i cut myself off from true love with you. ~Thich Naht Hanh
People naturally fear misfortune and long for good fortune; but if the distinction is carefully studied, each often turns into the other. The wise person learns to meet changing circumstances of life neither elated by success nor depressed by failures.
