Non-Verbal Communication

I think it was IBM that did a communication study back in the 70’s that concluded with three different pieces of the overall communication pie. Supposedly something like 93% of how we communicate is non verbal (tone of voice and body language in something of equal proportion) and only 7% of how we communicate is through the words we use. I majored in communication in college and recall similar opinion held by at least a few of my professors. What I like about studies like this is the fact that it brings attention to subtlety in conversation. People like Deborah Tannen, Harriett Goldhor Lerner and many others, have done amazing work around the theories of communication.  Actually getting into the subtlety of conversation as it is happening seems to be the bane of my existence. You see, I’m okay with a pen and paper or sitting at a computer—only relationship to self there. Oddly enough I’m also okay with complete strangers due to my compulsion to be perfectly socially acceptable (to be or not to be agreeable). But with frequent acquaintances, even family and sometimes friends and coworkers, there is so much subtlety that I tune into that I get lost in the crude essence of what is being said.I guess I also believe that this only applies to words because men are magnificent communicators when it comes to non-verbal body language.